The True Meaning of Being in Love

I have always loved Valentine's Day. To me, it has always just seemed like such a cheerful, festive, candy-heart holiday. In elementary school, I loved decorating re-purposed shoe boxes with pink, red, and purple construction paper until they morphed into special little mailboxes where classmates would drop Valentine's Day cards. In middle school and high school, I loved the anticipation of wondering whether or not any of my friends would have purchased a Candy-gram for me. Yes, I have always enjoyed this holiday during which it is acceptable to pair red and pink together.

But my junior year of college, I found myself approaching the holiday with a certain sadness in my heart. The year before, Valentine's Day had been fairly magical for me. I was in love for the first time; I had a bonafide Valentine. But now I found myself with the lover's holiday rolling around again, and I was alone.

Determined not to let my lack of romance ruin a holiday that had always brought me such happiness, I decided to spread as much love as I could. My best friend, one of my roommates, and I, procured a huge stack of construction paper in a myriad of colors, and one night shortly before Valentine's Day, we sat on the floor constructing personalized, handmade Valentines for our of friends and family members.

Having made probably two-dozen unique cards for so many people I loved, I looked forward to the day with the childlike enthusiasm I remember experiencing in elementary school. I could hardly wait to distribute my little gifts.

But I must admit, when I awoke early on Valentine's Day morning, I did feel a little stab of loneliness. I thought of all the girls I knew who had sweet, romantic plans for the evening--and I would be alone, probably studying. My spirits improved a little, though, when I remembered the bag of colorful cards sitting on the floor beside my bed. Even if I felt lonely, I could make other people feel a little more loved, and that thought brought me comfort.

It was still dark out when I got up and gleefully slipped the cards underneath the doors of my sleeping roommates. I was so excited imagining how happy they would be when they awoke to a small, thoughtful surprise.When I went downstairs to deliver a card to my male roommate, I was surprised to find him waiting at the bottom of the steps for me. A sculpted rose of copper was in his hand. He offered it to me.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I responded in surprise. "Did you make this?!"

"My sister. I asked her to make one for each of you girls. Look--she put your names on your roses."

I looked, and sure enough, each rose was labeled with each girl's respective name.

Truly, I was surprised--and I felt so loved. He had thought about each of us girls and made such an effort to make us feel special. I had awoken expecting to feel alone, and planning to make the best of it. But here I was, first thing in the morning, and I already felt less lonely.

To this day, I cherish the copper rose my roommate commissioned his sister to make for me, as well as for my three other roommates, for Valentine's Day. It is a constant reminder of the fact that love is all around us, and can become evident in our lives when we least expect it. It is a reminder to be grateful for and recognize all the loving people in our lives, and it symbolizes people's thoughtfulness and tenderness toward each other.

Shortly after, I left for my first class of the day, bringing with me my little bag of cards, having made cards for a few of my classmates. One of them was a girl named Kathy. To my surprise, Kathy had made a Valentine for me, as well. For the second time that day, I unexpectedly felt loved. Someone who I had not expected to think of me, had.

As we exchanged cards she said, "Remember the first day of class? I was really late? I felt like everyone in the class glared at me when I came in--even the professor. But I sat down across from you and you smiled at me."

I had forgotten all about that day, but remembered it instantly upon her retelling. I had had no idea that my one brief smile had put her at ease in a room she had felt was full of hostile people.

And so I went about the rest of my day, distributing Valentines and doing a pretty good job of not thinking about how alone I would be later that night when everyone else went out on their romantic dates. In my mind, I was The Only Single Girl in the World.

When I got home later that afternoon, I was greeted with Valentine's Day cards from my parents and both sets of my grandparents. So they had thought of me, too. In addition, my roommates seemed genuinely grateful for their construction-paper Valentines. 

I don't remember much about that night. As anticipated, it was just another night. I probably ate dinner, studied, and went to bed. I can't promise I didn't indulge a little in thoughts of the previous year's Valentine's Day, but I don't remember for sure. What I do remember is that I no longer felt lonely. I felt grateful. I felt loved. I felt pleasantly surprised. As it turned out, I was single--not alone. There was not romantic love in my life at that time, but there was a lot of love, in many other forms.

So if you find yourself single this Valentines Day, you're not alone; you're loved.

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love--in all the forms it takes. Love for your friends, your family, your pets, your co-workers, your neighbors, and yes, if you have one, your significant other. Don't for an instant think that being single means you should relegate yourself to your couch and watch sappy movies with nothing more than a gallon of ice cream for company (Does anyone actually do that? Where does that stereotype come from, anyway?). And don't for an instant think that just because you are not in love in the traditional, romantic sense of the term, you cannot celebrate love--or that you are not actually within love. As I learned one Valentine's Day several years ago, we are all truly in--surrounded by, immersed in--love. It is all around us. We just have to take note. So, celebrate Valentine's Day by consciously recognizing all the roles love plays in your life. Celebrate Valentine's Day by showing love in all the ways you can think to show it. Celebrate Valentine's Day by expressing gratitude for all the kinds of love you do have in your life. You don't have to be in love to be in--within, that is--love. Live in love.

On a side note, not long after that unexpectedly love-filled Valentine's Day, I met my forever Valentine. Just days before our first date, I had reconciled myself to the fact that I would probably never meet anyone to marry. After all, where in the world would I meet him? How in the world would I meet him? Above, we are shown at the top of Pike's Peak in Colorado during our honeymoon in the summer of 2007. I'd love to say we biked up the mountain, but the truth is, we only biked down.